Sunday, May 04, 2008

And the hits keep coming. Hits of awesomeness.

This is a continuation of the material I quoted in this post. He/she also references some replies, so read the comments. Not that it helps.

P.S. No offense meant to Peter. Sorry, but I'm just quoting the material.


That's right, Deb. You can make 4000 queries over the course of a couple years and that's what I did.
No hyperbole. Prob'ly more. It's easy to do with the internet, one single query at a time, wait awhile, requery some.

Advice: take the time to at least put the agent's name on your form queries. And yes you too can do 4000 if you like. And get just ONE snot-nosed reply, such as from Peter Rubie. Or this asshole "leesmiley."

Yes, you bet, none of the 1999 people rejected have gotten anywhere -- so far. Anyway, it's most probable. It's easy enough to take a representative sample, and easier to check who's made deals with whom, and so on. Then search your own computer records with a search to see if anybody who queried you has made a deal.

That's right, read each individual paragraph for its own. This is internet. You've got to speed up your own comprehensions, people. If you can't, join "leesmiley" and get nowhere, forever.

Oh. Sorry, at least two snot-noses here. Andrew Wheeler, genius.

Out of time. Work to do.

15 comments:

AJ said...

I'm just trying to figure out what kind of idiot would write this. Seriously, no agent gives a damn if a query they rejected eventually got picked up, and they certainly wouldn't go cross-referencing to find out if the people getting deals once queried them. Actually, what agent would bother even saving any type of reference to the individuals who queried them?

I'm betting this is a pissed off writer who decided that putting "Literary Agency" after their name makes them an agent.

nekokazuki said...

This guy/girl baffles me to such an extent that it's hard to put into words. 4,000 queries, really? And then the phrase, "requery." Ohhhh. That explains it. So much for careful, selective querying, huh?

And Mr. Rubie rejected me with a fairly nice personal email. I appreciated it. Maybe he just really, really hated that query...?

Andrew Wheeler said...

I'm torn. On the one hand, he doesn't sound much more coherent than the last time, so my first impulse is to think he's just a poor writer and a lazy thinker.

On the other hand, he called me a genius, so how dumb could he be?

(Nobody answer that!)

Anonymous said...

That's right, Deb. You can make 4000 queries over the course of a couple years and that's what I did.
No hyperbole. Prob'ly more. It's easy to do with the internet, one single query at a time, wait awhile, requery some,


...and for pity's sake don't bother to screen the agents and editors before sending to see if the submission is appropriate. That's how you get your 4000 queries in, children.

Advice: take the time to at least put the agent's name on your form queries.

...and maybe, just maybe, they'll put your name on their form rejections.

And yes you too can do 4000 if you like. And get just ONE snot-nosed reply, such as from Peter Rubie. Or this asshole "leesmiley."

...ONE reply out of 4000. But I'm not bitter. No. Not bitter at all.

Yes, you bet, none of the 1999 people rejected have gotten anywhere -- so far. Anyway, it's most probable. It's easy enough to take a representative sample, and easier to check who's made deals with whom, and so on. Then search your own computer records with a search to see if anybody who queried you has made a deal.

...since naturally agents and their assistants have that kind of time on their hands.

That's right, read each individual paragraph for its own. This is internet. You've got to speed up your own comprehensions, people. If you can't, join "leesmiley" and get nowhere, forever.

...and in addition, your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Oh. Sorry, at least two snot-noses here. Andrew Wheeler, genius.

...wait... three... four... damn, how the snot-noses add up fast.

Out of time. Work to do.

...have to get back to stalking those rejected authors to see if any of them cut a deal with some other agent.

leesmiley said...

Okay, seriously Miss Snark, put the gin down.

As far as being an asshole, I don't deny it. Be that as it may, I'm an asshole who has received a partial request and a full request from reputable agents in the past two weeks out of the five agents I have queried so far. If this is going nowhere, then I'm just happy to enjoy the scenery.

I'm not an agent, just another struggling writer trying to get a little validation for all the hours I've spent writing as good a story as I could and researching the proper way to submit my work.

My guess is, based on the quality arguments anonymous has put forth, that this is either a case of horrible injustice against someone who should have been the Faulkner of our generation or maybe, perhaps, it could be that, his/her writing sucks.

Then again, what do I know? I'm just a talking asshole.

Anonymous said...

If this is really an agent then God have mercy on us all...

Anonymous said...

4,000 queries, really?

Spam software makes it so easy...

Why stop at 4000 when you can "query" and "requery" EVERYONE on the Internet with one click of a button?

Anonymous said...

I don't understand why it's a good thing to keep giving attention to this person? Could we maybe stop after this?

Mimzy said...

Nah, this couldn't be Miss Snark. Miss Snark can actually write.

If this person is really an agent then I want their real name or agency so that I can warn off anyone foolish enough to query them.

nekokazuki said...

Sidenote: Guys guys guys. Think for a second.

This is our COMPETITION. Oh man, I kind of feel better about my life now. If this is the other guy in the slushpile, I know who is going to come out on top.

His incomprehensible grammar would get every one of those 4,000 queries rejected. Let's all feel better knowing that the letter before ours might have been this anon, and that will make us all look so much better in comparison.

(And this is not an agent. All of the red flags are up and waving, especially the lack of a client list, etc. Beware. Anyone who, when querying their own work, decides to scattershot 4,000 queries via email is not going to sell your book to an editor succesfully. Or maybe they will, by complete and utter chance.)

mkb said...

Me, I like to query each agent 4000 times. I'm still working on the first one....

LindaBudz said...

leesmiley and andew wheeler are my new heroes.

superwench83 said...

Um... what? Seriously, I understood this only slightly more than the original post.

jjdebenedictis said...

I kinda agree with Anon 2:46PM. This person has a tenuous grip on reality. Maybe just smile and nod? 'Tain't nice to mock crazy people.

freddie said...

You know, I wouldn't be surprised if this was the same guy who was looking for rejected manuscripts.

Newbie here. Hi all.