Thursday, July 01, 2010

For Your Information, Again

If you've self-published several terrible books in what's probably a mystery/adventure/YA series, complete with your self-drawn cover, it's really only necessary to send one unsolicited book with your query, not all 3 plus some soundtracks you've composed. Be assured that if our socks were knocked off by the first poorly-edited book with its hilariously bad cover art, we would request the rest. Until then, save on postage.

I'm always in favor of people saving on postage, and yet ...

24 comments:

wordsareforwriting said...

Is it cruel to think that´s funny?

middle grade ninja said...

That's mean. Also very funny.

_*rachel*_ said...

How bad is it to say that I want to track it down, put on the soundtrack, start reading, and laugh until I'm blue in the face?

Heidi Wessman Kneale said...

Was the music any good? Obviously they are not a writer nor an artist. Perhaps they are a musician?

The Rejecter said...

I don't put CDs that come in the mail into my computer.

Lynne Connolly said...

what have you actually achieved with this post? You see, until recently, I'd have smiled and passed on, but just recently snark for its own sake has begun to pall.
This can't be an example of what not to do, because really, how many people do this? Maybe the author should have done a bit more research, maybe s/he is a raving egomaniac, I can't tell from the post.
It might have been more professional to let the sender know this won't work, and quietly binned the books. Because somewhere, I can imagine someone crying their heart out, and I don't really want that image on my mind today.

The Hag said...

No, I think 'cruel' would be mentioning the author's name. For the rest of us, it's funny. For the author, it's a strong message to research agents, what to send them, and how to do it.
Agents are in business to make money, not give free psychological counseling.
Also, let's remember the author got a polite refusal, just like the rest of us. They may never read this blog or make the connection.

Brandon Petersen said...

"For the rest of us, it's funny."

Wrong.

It's cruel.

It makes me question what amazing pieces of literature this assistant at whatever agency has produced.

It's high school, no, middle school cruelty masked as literary advice.

I once heard an agent say, "a rejection hurts the agent just as much as it does the author."

No.

Not even close.

Sam Albion said...

i thought the OP was hilarious. I'm concerned though, that some blog-followers here feel it is cruel, and mean. Look, guys... counselling and social work is down the hall... you've got the wrong room

J.V. said...

Anonymity is a wonderful thing sometimes, and I agree that without any identifying info I see this as a funny cautionary tale. If the books really were that bad, it's on the author to get an editor to work things over before self-publishing.

Also, while most people are not artists, there are plenty of places to license a photo for something like a book cover without breaking the bank...and certainly cheaper than paying an actual artist for a custom piece.

Thanks for the chuckle :)

--E said...

Of fer Crom's sake, people, the writing world is full of idiots, and history teaches us that most of them don't learn from gentle correction.

Anyone who sends this sort of package has a combination of obsession and egotism that likely won't be fazed by The Rejecter's snark. If they are, they'll suck up the pain and three years from now realize it was better to get the cluebat between the eyes now rather than later.

I appreciate a general desire for people to be civil to each other, but a thin skin is the absolute most useless thing a writer can have. Coddling them makes the situation worse, not better.

Brandon Petersen said...

I stand corrected. One too many July 4th pops had my heart bleeding.

Carry on!

error7zero said...

Maybe next time they should leave the tunes on your answering machine.

Malik Isasis said...

Being unnecessarily cruel, is really unbecoming. You are one of The Gate Keepers, I think we get that, so you don't have to shit on others--no matter how absurd you think their hunger is. You dig?

error7zero said...

Gatekeeper.
Excellent analogy.

The Rejecter said...

Now I suppose I should look for the keymaster.

Keidi Keating said...

LOL! I agree that self-drawn covers are always a major turn off. And while they say 'don't judge a book by its cover' it's painstakingly hard not to. It's no coincidence that the best books always have the best covers...:)

silverpen said...

I fail to see what's cruel about this post. A literary "gatekeeper" has the right to state what is considered an acceptable submission by their standards. Let's face it, to send 3 books plus a soundtrack is excessive by anyone's standard.

Yours truly, the Keymaster.

Anonymous said...

You: Gatekeeper your stopping me and everyone else from success.

Commonsense (also known as the Gatekeeper is a mythological beast created by people who struggle with the basic facts of life. ) : If everyone were famous then fame wouldn't mean the same thing. Take self-published writers for example. Anybody can do it and it's meaningless because anybody can do it.

You: That's rude. How dare you tell me that! You have to be nice to me! I wrote a book!

Commonsense: You also learned to use a toilet. Do you want an award for that too? Life isn't fair get over it.

You: How DARE you talk to ME that WAY! I'm entitled to you making me feel good about myself (just like my mom does) even when my I'm being a ninny.

Commonsense: How old are you?

You: You don't have a right to ask that question.

Commonsense: You book keeps being rejected because I can't make money with it. Usually that means it's not good enough, but sometimes it just means I can't sell it.

You: Mom that mean agent gave me a reality check.

Mom: It's alright. You're great and that person is an idiot not to know it.

You: You're right. I'll self-publish my book, make a cd and send her three copies so she'll know who stupid she is.

Mom: Great idea. How much money do you need?

You: A lot (self-publishes book.) Take that agent (drops books in the mail.)

Agent: This person is a nutter. (Posts on blog and nutters come out to defend the right to be nutty.) You all are right. You can be as nutty as you want but I still can't sell your book.

Nutters: You have to be nice to us!

Rinse and repeat.

Georgia McBride said...

Are you saying you DON'T want the autograghed poster and a few bookmarks?

Anonymous said...

Yes, you're free to make fun of inadequacy...unfortunately you're not helping anyone.
But worse, it's antithetical to a charitable spirit.
Which is also fine.
However, having read your blog, I was under the impression that you understood the pain associated with inadequacy and the intrinsic value of charity and a charitable heart/spirt.
But I could be wrong.

Brad Jaeger said...

These comments have gotten rather depressing. To the offended--You know you're on a blog titled THE REJECTER, right?

Geez people, a little humor won't kill you. You never know, it might even turn that sourpuss of yours into a smile.

The Rejecter said...

Brad,

People take issue with everything I write on this blog. At this point I'm mostly immune to it unless I'm actually incorrect.

Katharine said...

Glad I checked in here today. Hmmm... Now that you mention it, I remember that I've got a killer idea for a YA mystery series. Yes... What's your cell phone number? I'll text you the proposal in pieces, like a serial. But first, I'll send you a link to my own personal ring tone. So you'll know it's me. This'll be great!

Okay, seriously. For me -- just for me -- this is another reason I won't self-publish. Thank you for the gentle reminder and the chuckle.